sorry i haven’t updated in a while, i’ve been stressing

Where do I start?

I came here a few months back now, running away, running to something, I dont’ know what.

I stumbled upon this course, the course that seemed to reach out and suck me in, it was the one for me, the course I had been searching for for a long time.

Bureucrats told me I’d have no problem getting funding, ie, a student loan. Two months later, after doing all their bollocks I get told no I’m not eligible. Despite being a British citizen, I have to have lived here for 3 years prior to my course, something I was not told in the beginning.

I am so mad and so so upset. I don’t want to give up this course, I have to do it. But there is no way I can fund myself and there is no way I can work enough to support myself. We have to do too much in the way of placements and such for me to also have the time to fit in classes and study and so on.

I am so lost, I just want to take valium and sleep the days away. I don’t want to think about it.

I don’t want to go home, I want to do this course. It means too much to me. I want to cry and kick things and yell and scream. These arseholes are fucking up my happiness, my dream in life, I will not let them fuck me over dammit.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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~ by Fen on October 29, 2005.

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