I’ve finally been referred to a Gastroenterologist, but the appointment is not until 11th September. So my plans for going to Sardinia are a bit up in the air now, coz I was going to be away over that time. Never mind. Maybe I’ll just save my money in the hope that I can fly home for Christmas. I’m not even sure I want to do that, home is so different now.Work is boring, life is pretty boring too this week.I feel particularly lost this week, not sure why. I’m constantly questioning what I am doing and I guess I couldn’t come up with the answers. The whole event at work last week has made me question myself and who I am again. I am harsh on myself, but it seems, everyone is harsh on me too. I thought I was a nice person, but sometimes I wonder.Some of the guys at work (who aren’t single) were gobsmacked that I am single. We were having some discussion yesterday. I think I have just resigned myself to the fact that I am going to be single forever. Maybe I am too picky, maybe other people are too picky, I dunno. People always criticize me for being something, too loud, too blunt, too honest, but fuck it, I’m not changing who I am. It’s enough that I hate myself without everyone else getting in on the act too.It’s cold outside, where did the summer piss off to? eeekI sometimes wish that things had been different in the last few years.

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~ by Fen on August 3, 2006.

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