completely pinched…

I was reading this just now and well, it made me giggle.  No in fact it made me laugh loudly in a quiet office.  Pretty sure my colleagues think I’m weird, never mind.  Anywho, last day of Winter and all that.  This here below was written by the brilliant Matt Morgan (Russell Brand’s sidekick & co-host).

(written 6/3/2007)

It feels like summer is coming! The sun is shining, I can hear the sound of a lawn being mown (not sure how, as there’s not much grass around here- maybe those ne’er-do-well hoodies have started using Flymos instead of knives? They’d be quite an effective mugging weapon actually, although somewhat limited to the length of the cable. If another hoodie carried a generator it might work. Yes that’s what they’d probably do. Actually, the noise of a lawnmower and one of those diesel-powered generators would be so intense this forward-thinking gang would no longer have stealth on their side and they’d give their position away to the Police) Anyway, I’ll start again…
Look outside, it’s all sunny. It’s March now and that means we’re in that period of ‘summer-foreplay’ they call ‘spring’. It’s not long now until everyone’s favourite season is here and everything will be alright. When its winter, if I try and imagine summer it seems like a madman’s dream. The idea of sleeping with the windows open- as insane as sleeping with the top of my head open, going out in flip-flops- as loony as going out with an orange on a lead and calling it a dog. No, when its winter, summer seems an alternative reality where gloves and scarves are woolly aliens hibernating in cupboards whilst sunglasses ride around on our faces all proud of themselves again, it seems so far-fetched. But then, at this time of year little summery clues start to appear, subtly at first, mere whiffs and hints on the breeze but they remind you that a great, hot, bright, freshly cut lawn-smelling, barbecue-tasting, aeroplane droning across a clear blue sky-sounding, friendly shimmering monster is awakening. Woohoo, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together, throw off your winter clothes and make some noise for our old friend The Summer. Everyone go nuts!


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~ by Fen on August 31, 2011.

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