Unconventional

I get swept away
When I think of you
Take me to that place
Where it’s control I lose

I’m soothed by you, you take it all away
I lose to you, surrendered at the start of the game

I’ll never deceive
I’m right here, I’ll always be

Hide away, I hide away with you
I let the world just slip away
And I’m left with you

You light up the sky, unshadow the moon
The moments we share
Always end too soon

Part of you stays a while
Even when you’re far away
How so far away, yet you feel so near

 

 

One of the issues around what has happened lately was me placing ‘normal’ rules on our relationship. It was never going to be normal, we are both as far from normal, or conventional, as you’re going to get. He told me ‘we’ were okay, that I had nothing to worry about. What he did wasn’t wonderful, but it happened. And I think because I expect things to be like everyone elses experiences, that I struggled with it.

Society expects us to be a certain way. And we’re not. And it’s really difficult to live outside that expectation, because other people just don’t get it. Unconventional relationships that are made all the more difficult by our own and societies expectations, all mixed up together. We need to let go and just enjoy the good times and ride out the rest. Because at the end of the day I think it’s worth it. It’s more than worth it. For me anyway.

Plus I’m a bit of a control freak, and letting things just be is something I really really battle with.  So this is me attempting to let it all go. I may or may not blog through it. I am wary of opening things up to scrutiny for the above reasons. Unconventional ways of being cause people to say hurtful things when they don’t know the full story. It’s my life and I’m living it my way. I never did things like anyone else anyway, so why change.

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~ by Fen on May 24, 2014.

2 Responses to “Unconventional”

  1. You will get through this pain and confusion, and this sentence you wrote says it all: ‘ It’s my life and I’m living it my way.’ The BEST way to be

    • It’s all good Kath, I saw him yesterday and we talked and talked. I just need to remember, we’re both emotionally wounded & he’s dealing with huge amounts of stress right now. Things will work out, one way or another. x

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